Friday, 22 April 2016

Obama Visit: A Good Time to End The Special Relationship

America has never got over her independence. Like a vexatious wife who has eloped with the game-keeper, she has spent the years since 1776 stalking the perimeters of the great estate, hoping against hope that she will be glimpsed or acknowledged; thrilling at the sight of the old house and the wizened matriarchs taking tea on the lawn, before retreating back into the arms of her sinewy lover and weeping (between damp kisses) over what she has left behind.

That is not to say that "America" has not tried to make her own way in the world of course. Indeed in her unique and often brash fashion she has done quite well. A little too tawdry on occasion and with an increasingly embarrassing attachment to lycra and "rock and roll" it must be said, but undoubtedly she has been an idiosyncratic member of the extended Anglo-Saxon family. And by and large The United Kingdom, who spawned and moulded her has been a benevolent patron.

That we have been so gracious and indulgent to "America" despite her petulance says a great deal more about the breeding of the United Kingdom than it does about the often rather coarse "United States." Inevitably there have been some contretemps along the way. One thinks of the unpleasantness of 1812 when the uppity colonials fell in with a bad crowd (The French) and took it upon themselves to be beastly in Canada. There was also the silly mid-century foot dragging over the Second World War, when they conducted themselves with all the tiresomeness of an ingénue, at a coming out ball, who can't decide with whom to dance.

Yet despite all our generosity and efforts to include her in things, whether they be wars or "international protocols", from the moment of our entry into the "Common Market" in 1973, America sought to replace us as the leader of the free world and in the process, it must be said, made a bit of a hash of it. British diplomacy in the Middle East, had long been conducted on established principles, by gentlemen in suits, quietly persuading chumps to hand over their oil. The Americans, by contrast, seemed to think from the off, that the best course of diplomacy was to gallop about the place in open necked "T shirts" hurling bombs at people and behaving like "Chuckle Norris". 

It was quite clear, from early on, that the Americans were secretly delighted at us being subsumed into the failed "European Project." Like the camel in Aesop's fable, they slowly pushed themselves into the tent - and us out - and now they are settled they have no interest in letting us back in.

Having got his hands firmly on the jar of Turkish delights, the mendacious, Janus-faced "President" Obama has no intention of handing it back. Outside of the "EEC" Britain could flourish in much the same way that Iceland, Norway or Albania have and Obama and his administration seem hell bent on nipping that opportunity in the bud. This is the real purpose of his visit today.

The so called "special relationship" has worked for far too long in America's interests and it is obviously time to say enough is enough. The United States,quite rightly, fears a resurgent British Commonwealth and of course we must reassure them that they are quite welcome to rejoin. But like the errant wife and the gamekeeper, begging for a little mercy, we must do so on "our" terms - the first of which is to leave the European Economic Community.


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  2. Obama Revisited: A Convenient Time to Invoke the Special Antagonism (Part 1)

    Britain has never got over America's independence. Like a jealous cuckold whose wife has eloped with a mind of her own, he has spent the years since 1776 sulking within the perimeters of the emasculated estate, hoping against hope that he will not be forgotten; resenting the youth of the New World and the vigor with which its inhabitants debate their freedoms, before retiring into the grave of a lonely bed and weeping (between cold sheets) over how he has been left behind.

    This is not to say that "Britain" has not tried to keep one foot out of the grave. In his routine and prim fashion he has done about as well as one could have expected. With a tendency towards complacency and an embarrassing fondness for doilies and "stiff upper lips," he has been a stagnant member of the ancient Anglo-Saxon family. And by and large the United States, who forgave and improved upon him, has been a benevolent child. Alas, the old-fashioned respect for the young is fast dying out.

    That we have been so patient and tolerant of "Britain" despite his self-pity says a great deal more about the breeding of the United States than it does about the often rather condescending "United Kingdom." As with any aged relative, there are some humiliations which cannot be overlooked. One thinks of the unpleasantness of 1812 when the entitled colonists were still taking it upon themselves to use the West Indies for offshoring indentured servants. There was also the silly mid-century misstep over the Suez Crisis, when Britain conducted himself with all the masochism of a birthday clown treading on a banana skin at a party to which he hasn't been invited.

  3. Obama Revisited: A Convenient Time to Invoke the Special Antagonism (Part 2)

    Yet despite all our efforts to exclude ourselves from things, whether they be wars or "international protocols", from the moment of his entry into the "Common Market" in 1973 (a decision for which he seems determined to take no personal responsibility), Britain, no longer an empire but merely a satrapy, was desperate to use us as the leader of the free world, a role in which, it must be said, he had already made rather a mess of things. The British seemed to think from the off that the best course of diplomacy was to gallop about the place in crimson trousers hurling bayonets at natives and behaving like Harry Flashman. Coalition forces, by contrast, had until quite recently been conducting diplomacy on established principles of military discipline, with men and women in uniform bravely defending the efforts of Mesopotamians to build a nascent democracy, a noble failure for which even the most vocally self-proclaimed "patriotic" Briton seems pathologically ungrateful.

    It was quite clear, from early on, that the British were perversely delighted at being unmanned by the decadent "European Project." Recall the snake in Aesop's fable that "fell to licking of a File" (trans. L'Estrange, 1692):

    "she saw the File bloody, and still the bloodier it was, the more eagerly she lick’d it; upon a foolish Fancy, that it was the File that bled, and that she herself had the better on’t."

    Europhiles have been lapping up their own blood for some time while insisting that the EU is capable of "reform." With the referendum less than a fortnight away, the Remain campaign have been licking at the file at such a pace that whenever they defend the EU now they seem to speak with a more than usually forked tongue.

  4. Obama Revisited: A Convenient Time to Invoke the Special Antagonism (Part 3)

    Obama slithered across the Atlantic in April to give Britain a similar tongue-splitting sermon, but the country appropriately jettisoned the viper from his bosom. However, the romantic notion which several commentators have suggested, that Obama opposes Brexit for American interests, while it may flatter the persecution complexes of older British conservatives who fantasize love-hate with the United States for reasons perhaps best left unknown, is quite wrong. Obama, the most Left-wing "President" we have ever had, a megalomaniacal narcissist and globalist whose sole aim has been to fundamentally destroy traditional and historical America, and by extension the country from whose head America sprang (not quite fully formed), disdains democracy abroad and at home; and longs to impose an EU-style political union globally, but particularly upon the United States. His "real purpose" has never been about Britain or America, but about himself.

    The double-edged pride and jealousy of the so-called "special relationship" has encouraged the decadence of Britain for far too long and it's time for him to relinquish our coattails. The United Kingdom, quite rightly, longs for a resurgent British Commonwealth; although reassuring himself with the illusion that the flourishing, prosperous Constitutional republic to which he is distantly related would ever again wish to be dependent upon him both reinforces his perverse desire for love-hate with America and reveals once more the masochistic tendency that shackled him to the European Union. The remedy for the cuckold is not to deny his wife her mind, nor to fantasize that she will beg to be taken back, but to find a mind of his own.

    The United Kingdom has two choices: to remain the EU's pliant, listless catamite; or to prove, rather than affirm, the known rules of ancient liberty. One is the wish to be a slave, the other is not. Once again, the snake and file in Aesop's fable is instructive:

    "In the Conclusion, when she could lick no longer, she fell to biting; but finding at last she could do no more good upon’t with her Teeth than her Tongue, she fairly *left* it." [My emphasis.]

    We learned this lesson long ago. Will Britain finally learn it on the 23rd of June?