B is for Bah Humbug
It seems that barely a year goes by without news of another 'metropolitan' council deciding to re-brand, 'reimagine' or simply cancel Christmas altogether. I am regularly lectured by acolytes of 'Professor' Richard Dawkins that the origin of the festival is the Roman feast of "Saturnalia" and indeed sometimes that 'it has nothing to do with the birth of our Saviour at all'.
While it is very gracious of ninnies to show concern for worshippers of Roman Gods, one is only sorry that they cannot extend the same courtesy to those of us who have opted to follow the majority faith of these isles. One tries to fight the urge to wish such people nothing but ill, but I confess that it is a battle the 'urge' often wins. These no doubt are the types who wrap gifts to their children in back issues of Pravda and spend the festive period drinking herbal tea and pointing out that the Queen's speech is 'pre' recorded.
The dreadful term "Winterval" has increasingly been deployed in recent times by these and their allies in 'civic' council buildings, to encompass the 'broad range of religious festivals' that occur in December. There are those who argue that such consideration is a noble thing; that by making society 'inclusive' we encourage 'happiness' and general 'good cheer' amongst all men (and yes of course women). I would beg to differ. Inclusion is a ghastly concept. It drives colour and vitality from our streets and one feels quite sure that most other faiths are far too busy celebrating their own nonsense, to worry about ours.
Throughout it all one imagines Mr Dawkins and his chums rubbing their hands with glee, for their determination to drive Christianity from these isles has nothing whatsoever to do with 'Darwin' or 'truth' as they so tiresomely claim. These modern Scrooges, along with their allies in the Labour party, the 'Humanist Society' and the governing council of North Korea have just one goal in mind - and that is the eradication of joy. They wish to excise it from the high streets and the department stores. They wish to ban it from the churches, the firesides and the public houses. They will indeed most probably never surrender, until we are living in a grey world of drab half-wits wittering on about how we are all descended from apes and there is nothing we can do about it.
The best defence of course is attack. Should you know such people please make sure you send them a card. Preferably with a nativity scene on the front.