Saturday, 24 December 2011

Why the time has come for Wales to lay claim to Argentina

The Falkland Islands and why Argentina rightfully belongs to the Welsh. 

In the last few weeks the irksome Argentine government under the mendacious, although admittedly extremely fragrant Mrs Kirchner has once more laid claim to the Falkland Islands. David Cameron has quite rightly rejected this tiresome claim stating that the sovereignty of the archipelago is not open to debate. I would go further and argue that perhaps the time has come instead, to debate the sovereignty of Argentina and whether we and specifically the Welsh should lay claim to it.

Allow me to explain. The Falklands were discovered by an Englishman, John Davis, who in 1592 claimed  them as a British possession. West Falkland was settled by a few dozen Frenchmen in 1764 and the first British came a year later. The two groups lived cheek by jowl, quite contentedly, until the typically trouble-making Iberians threw a Spaniard in the works by buying out the French in 1766 and illegally expelling the British. Happily English speaking islanders returned in 1771 and the land has been a dominion of the crown ever since. 

The Argentine claim on the 'Malvinas' therefore seems to stem from the brief period in which their former colonial overlord Spain, wrongly and maliciously laid claim to the rocks. Coupled with a frankly tenuous argument concerning geographic proximity, their twisted logic would presumably allow the polo playing, corned beef munching twerps to argue that any former Spanish holding in its vicinity from Chile to California is rightfully theirs. Should such demands be upheld under international law, Britain could well claim that Normandy, which belonged to the British Crown from 1066 to 1449 be returned forthwith along with Indonesia, Malta, South Africa, Ireland, the United States of America and approximately one third of the land surface of the planet Earth.

The only other conceivable claim Argentina has is that some of the Falkland island folk are descendants of the tiny group of Spanish settlers who arrived there in the mid eighteenth century. This logic, perversely, might offer a solution to the 'Malvinas problem. As I am sure you know, Argentina boasts the only Welsh speaking community outside of Cymru. Based on the Buenos Aires government's apparent logic that the land belongs to the ethnic origin of some of its current settlers, in spite of their own feelings on the matter, Wales might very well claim that as Patagonia is largely settled by the people of its delightful valleys, everything south of the 40th parallel is rightfully Welsh. As this area is particularly rich in Uranium, oil and coal, one is tempted to argue that the time has come to do 'swapsies'. They can have the Falklands and we (or more specifically the Welsh Assembly) shall reclaim half of Argentina. 

Glad Tidings

I am afraid that that is all we have time for in 2011. It has been my great honour to chat with many of my on-line followers over the last few months. One hopes that 2012 brings you all rich tidings whether working man, working woman, Conservative, socialist, psychopath or Liberal Democrat.



  1. What history do you read? Guillaume le Conqueror King of Normandy took Britain in 1066, so to start with Britain and Falklands are Normand

    Anyhow colonialism was call to be erradicated since middle XXth century so neither Argentine nor UK has any rights to put their hands on Falklands destiny. Falklands should be independent.

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  3. It is not true that Falklands people do not want to be independent. Moreover they would be blind if they dont. Just move to the social networks were they have free to speech without fear and claim to have the total management of their country as any other country does.
    Measles is to confound community and country, nationalism is opposed to internationalism not to community-sm (communitarism?). Many times "community" may take the form of micronationalism (just look at some Basques in Spain). Arab "community" is part of they ideology to own and rule the world. Colonialism is a -XXth century buried (see India and Hong Kong)- form of macronationalism in which some country (may be UK or RA) pretends to rule other country (Falklands either the case for UK and RA ) or part of other country (Gibraltar).
    Your invocation of a Queen has nothing rational. You d better revise your positions.

  4. Why on earth would a people be 'blind' for wishing to determine who they are? Patriotism in the sense of wishing to define ones self as part of a group is a noble ambition. Nationalism ordinarily involves telling other people what they are or must be and is invariably ugly. If you can find me more than a dozen Falkland islanders who wish to be Argentinian I shall happily revise my opinion. Good day to you.